A recent viral video from SubwayTakes, a popular social media account known for conversations on topical issues, has sparked a significant debate about parenting within the LGBTQ+ community. The video features co-creator Kareem Rahma and Julian Shapiro-Barnum, host of the influential @recess_therapy. Shapiro-Barnum asserts that gay people make better parents than straight people, arguing that same-sex parents typically have children through deliberate planning and intention rather than by accident. This intentionality, he suggests, results in children who are well cared for and nurtured within a supportive community.
Shapiro-Barnum, who has been raised by a complex family structure involving multiple lesbian and gay parents, emphasised the importance of a ‘village’ surrounding children raised by queer families. He highlights how this extended community often provides diverse role models and a supportive environment free from rigid gender norms. Speaking candidly, he also noted that children raised by gay parents tend to be ‘dope as hell’, a reflection of their positive upbringing.
The video has resonated widely on social media, accumulating over 110,000 likes and prompting thousands of comments. Many viewers echoed the sentiment that parenting with intention, whether straight or gay, is crucial, valuing planning and commitment above all. Some participants, including gay parents themselves, expressed that the defining trait of successful parenting lies not in orientation but in the effort, reflection, and support network behind it. One gay dad described how his family prepared extensively for parenthood and built a strong village of chosen family and godparents, underscoring that such teamwork is often a hallmark in queer parenting.
Supporting these lived experiences is robust academic research. Several large-scale studies, most notably a 2021 analysis involving 1.45 million children in the Netherlands, have found that children raised by same-sex parents perform as well as or better than those raised by different-sex parents across educational outcomes. This data covers standardised test scores, high school graduation rates, and university enrolment, pointing to advantages linked with the intentionality and planning common in same-sex parented families, as well as the generally higher socio-economic status of these couples.
Additional research from institutions such as the University of Melbourne and University of Queensland corroborates these findings. These studies refute outdated myths that suggest children of LGBTQ+ parents are disadvantaged, highlighting instead their excellent academic performance and well-rounded development. The Royal Economic Society and the University of Oxford have also published briefings reinforcing that higher socio-economic status and family stability are significant contributors to these positive outcomes.
However, it is important to recognise the impact of societal context. Researchers emphasise that these positive trends are most evident in regions with less discrimination against LGBTQ+ families. In countries or areas where legal and social acceptance of gay people remains limited, same-sex parents and their children might encounter additional challenges that can affect family wellbeing.
The SubwayTakes video, which included an Instagram poll asking viewers if they agreed that gay people make better parents, saw 65% of the more than 30,000 respondents in favour. While the debate will likely continue, the convergence of anecdotal evidence with rigorous scientific research paints a clear picture: the quality of parenting transcends sexual orientation, rooted instead in intentionality, community support, and stability.
Source: Noah Wire Services
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