Sexual abuse and sexual orientation: a dangerous conflation

A recent piece in magazine Psychology Today delves into the possible connection between early sexual abuse and eventual orientation, examining how societal beliefs can shape the understanding of both abuse and sexual identity.

The commentary begins with a reference to Elie Wiesel’s poignant account of his experiences during the Holocaust in his book “Night”. Wiesel’s brief mention of “a veritable traffic of children among homosexuals” raises troubling implications that link homosexuality with predatory behaviour, a notion that has historically influenced public perception. The author notes that Wiesel’s choice of words may unintentionally perpetuate harmful stereotypes that equate being gay with sexual deviancy, a belief that can consciously and unconsciously affect parental attitudes towards their children as they come out.

An illustrative example shared in the commentary mentions a parent’s reaction upon learning of her son’s sexuality. Speaking in a support group, the parent expressed concern about potential threats to her son from paedophiles, a fear that did not occur to her until she learned of his sexual orientation. Such anecdotes underscore how ingrained misconceptions can lead to alarming associations between being gay and predatory behaviour, making open discussions about sexual safety between parents and children challenging.

The discussion also references a 2017 study by the U.S. Census Bureau that examined the demographics of sexual perpetrators, revealing that women constituted a substantial portion of offenders – a fact that contradicts the stereotype that sexual abuse is predominantly a male crime. The findings indicate that, of surveyed adults, 43.6% of reported sexual aggressors were female. Moreover, a survey of youth participants revealed that by young adulthood, sexual victimisation perpetration was nearly equal among genders.

Testimonies from survivors further illustrate the complexities surrounding abuse and its impact on sexual orientation. A participant in a trauma recovery group shared his experiences of being abused by seven individuals, six of whom were women. Acknowledging this reality, the author reflects on societal biases that often presume sexual abusers to be male, raising awareness about the need to address uncomfortable truths about both male and female perpetration.

Crucially, the commentary challenges the erroneous belief that sexual abuse can dictate sexual orientation. It posits that many individuals may falsely equate their abuse experiences with the emergence of their sexuality, leading to internal confusion and shame. As one example highlights, a client expressing distress over a history of abuse wondered if it was the cause of his homosexuality. The author’s empathetic response provided a moment of relief, reinforcing the notion that sexual orientation exists independently of trauma experiences, a fact that is pivotal for healing.

Furthermore, the commentary touches upon how the narratives surrounding abuse often disproportionately reflect societal attitudes. Cases involving male perpetrators of sexual abuse against boys frequently stir assumptions about the perpetrator’s sexuality, leading to harmful conflations that perpetuate stigma around the LGBTQ+ community.

In surveying the underlying themes from discussions about abuse, the author emphasises that public misconceptions need to be openly confronted. Through these dialogues, there exists an opportunity to reshape narratives for future generations of LGBTQ+ youth, fostering an environment where they can learn about safety, identity, and acceptance without the weight of shame and stigma.

Source: Noah Wire Services